Random thoughts on Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

Okay, so before I list down the things that were going through my mind while watching Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, let me just tell you that this post is filled with spoilers.

Spoilers. Spoilers. If you haven’t watched it, read if you dare.

Still here? Seriously, I don’t want to put a “Read More” jump kinda thing.

Well, you’re still reading… don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Here I go: the things my mind was telling me while watching BvS: DoJ. Or those that I remember.

I mean, it’s been more than a week…

——————–

“Oh, so the movie starts with Bruce and a Knightmare.”

“Hey, Bruce’s dad is The Comedian!”

“Who would’ve thought bats can do that?”

“Bruce Wayne had an office building in Metropolis. Interesting.”

“Wait up, why the dude ain’t moving?! I mean, you told everyone to evacuate, but… why you still there?”

“Oh, so that’s how Bruce changes his voice! I thought it was how College Humor portrayed it…”

“It’s Scar. Scar is Batman’s freaking butler. You can’t watch/hear it right anymore…”

“You know the joke about how Superman and Lois Lane do the deed? I’m surprised she’s still alive.”

“Why is Jesse Eisenberg acting like that?”

“He’s babbling?! Lex Luthor does NOT babble.”

“Why is Jesse Eisenberg acting like that?!”

“Diana Prince is a journalist, too. I don’t think that was obvious…”

“Knightmare #2. I read about this (because I don’t care much for spoilers) but I’ll ask hubby what those flying things are later.”

“Ooooh, Barry, is that you?”

“Touches of The Dark Knight Returns right there.”

“Granny’s Peach Tea.”

“Come on, dude! You have X-ray vision! You have sonic ears! What the–”

“Metahumans. Lex had a penchant for making logos. He must be a graphic artist on the side.”

“Whut up, Aquaman?!”

“Oh, so like the distance from Metropolis to Gotham is like how far Pasig is from Mandaluyong. Interesting.”

“WHY IS JESSE EISENBERG ACTING LIKE THAT?!?!?!”

“What the F, Bats!?! ‘What did you say?!’ What the F!?!”

(NOTE: Okay, so I was also flailing my hands while saying that in my head. You should have seen me in the cinema. I mean, come on! Your mothers share the same name, and you’re like, “wait a minute!” It didn’t help that I watched this College Humor clip hours before I saw the movie:

Yeah, so see… what the F.)

“Friends, huh? After just a few minutes. It’s the cape.”

“And NO CAPES! Seriously, Edna Mode would have been livid.”

“Does Doomsday not talk? I thought he did…”

“He looks like a Peter Jackson troll…”

“Oh, that Superman in space, thin and all. I liked that frame in the comics.”

“Slo-mo every time the Amazon Warrior is on screen. The boys are sure enjoying this.”

“I wonder if she spun to transform or something…”

“Supes is the ideal boyfriend. He’ll leave everything for the girl.”

“Oooh, Lois and Diana in one shot.”

“Lex’s head shaved. The only time I liked Jesse’s acting. Tsk.”

“So who’s in the casket in the parade?”

“Bruce at the end. I thought this was a Man of Steel sequel?”

“Soil moves. Yeah, you know.”

“Guys, this ain’t Marvel. No after-credits scene. Let’s go.”

No Comments

Leave a Reply