You know you’re old when you use the term, “mga kabataan” to address teenagers you see in malls and in the streets. And yes, hubby and I (and some of my friends) say that when we meet emo kids with their hair all over their faces or when they’re wearing black hooded jackets in a hot day…
But that’s not exactly the point of my blog entry.
I stumbled upon the site of a Filipina Mom Blogger, which many bloggers would know as AboutMyRecovery.com. Actually, I was curious of her interview with BB Gandanghari (which I learned about while checking Plurk updates) before I scrolled down and found this post entitled Parents of Teens: Beware of The Open Party & The Marcel Piezas Incident. In it was a repost of a letter by Mrs. Piezas, Marcel’s mom, regarding the unfortunate incident that happened to her son at the open party held in Greenmeadows Clubhouse last month. The said open party was organized and was for high school students from some of the upscale schools in Metro Manila.
The blog post also had related links to the story, which showed commentaries and a statement from the Stoya Boys. I’ve also found other blogs relating to the issue. Read on until the blog comments, which I find very interesting:
Chuvaness.com: Be very afraid
MenardConnect.com: STOYA: Open Party Scandal
MommyAya.blogspot.com: The Marcel Piezas Assault Case (Pass to others so that they may know)
Mikalai.livejournal.com: For non STOYA and STOYAN’s alike, just a lesson –> contains an online statement of STOYA (which I’m not sure is official or not)
By doing this post, I’m not doing the online mob mentality thing. Rather I’m sharing my insights of this incident, having been a teenager and an alumna of one of those exclusive schools in the metro, and being a soon-to-be mom.
I remember when I was in high school, I never was a sucker for parties and sleepovers, unless it was required. You know, it was for the school and attendance will be checked, or we needed to get a project done or something. Maybe it was also because I never had interest in parties, or I imbibed my elder sister’s same lack of enthusiasm for social activities (she didn’t attend her junior prom). Besides, I hung out with the not-so elite crowd (in a relatively elite school) who had the same interests as I did — afternoon cartoons, shared lunches, and passing subjects.
My parents were strict when it came to our study habits. And because we were pretty un-sociable, they never had to worry about wringing our necks. They also knew our friends and their parents as well.
The only time they had to tighten their noose around me was when in 1st year high school, I was slapped with a huge demerit in conduct. We had a group meeting for a school project in my classmate’s house. Being adventurous and mapusok, which is typical of those hitting puberty, we each had 1 puff of cigarette out of curiosity. Peer pressure, you might say. Actually everything was fine, if not for a meddling new student who squealed on us to one of our nun teachers. According to the school handbook, smoking (I don’t remember if it covered “outside school premises”) was considered a grave misconduct. I almost got expelled.
My parents were hurt. Even if they did not say it outright, I knew they were devastated and confused as to how and why I did it. That left a seething pain in me. I learned a lesson right there. I had to regain my parents’ trust in me. And so from then on I studied hard, became honest with them in everything I did in and out of school, and told them everything that our batch was doing, from intramurals practice to the junior prom (yes, I attended my prom). I graduated with a medal. Okay, so it was just a loyalty award, but hey, at least I got one.
And I told my dad of my first taste of liquor when I was 17. He’s been giving me drinking and pulutan tips since then.
Believe me when I say I understand typical teenagers. Heck, it’s a been-there-done-that scenario for me. You know kids, they love to assert their freedom to the point that they are seen as rebellious by the older generation. They hate established rules because they feel they stifle their liberty to enjoy their lives. They relish the moment of “now,” unmindful of responsibilities that come with the consequences afterwards. And yes, they do stupid things.
That’s a natural phase. Then it all changes when you’re pulled out of your comfort zone.
The incident involving Marcel Piezas and Stoya isn’t exactly a rare occurrence. It just so happens that both parties are students of an elite school and the mother of the “aggrieved” (I will put quotation marks here for the moment) spread her son’s story through emails. It is both a scary and eye-opening experience. Scary for parents who have adolescent kids whose activities they need to monitor every now and then, and eye-opening for people like me who have enjoyed attending wholesome interactions and parties during our heydays. (So I’m hitting 30… I’m still not that old.) “Wholesome” meaning no booze or smokes or drugs. Just chips, softdrinks and a couple of games.
Parents who have read Mrs. Piezas’ story could not help but sympathize with her and her son. Why not, I mean a lone 14-15 year-old being mauled by 20 other guys because of something? That’s really bad in my book.
But as one comment said, this is a one-sided account (echoes of the Pangandaman – dela Paz issue?), so there must be another side of the story. Could it be that the boy really did something wrong that pissed everyone off?
I was willing to hear out (or at least read about) Stoya’s account, because they may be innocent of the accusations. And they have implied so in their open letter. One comment has even said that the mauling incident did not happen in Stoya’s open party, and that the guilty was a fraternity called The Good Fraternity or TGF (wonder what’s good about them?), which are composed of minors from two other prestigious schools. These few statements would mean it couldn’t have happened at their party.
Unfortunately, Stoya’s open letter was, I must say, badly written. While they insinuate that they are also the victims of this incident, the poor choice of words and weak argument, even pointing the blame on parents for allowing their kids to go to such parties, failed to gain my sympathy. They may have their points, but I wouldn’t expect this kind of words to flow from the mouths (or keyboards) of teenagers schooled in esteemed Catholic institutions. If only they chose their words more carefully, then there might have been a chance that this issue would have dampened down.
I will soon become a mother four months from now. A decade after, my hubby and I would probably be getting worried sick about my kid and his/her friends and their social activities.
Even though we try, in this time and age, it’s really hard to find the best discipline practice for your child. Tighten your grip and they will wriggle their way out no matter what. Loosen, and you’d find them, their wits and morals scattered everywhere. Even the phrase, “charge to experience” doesn’t seem to help anymore.
It’s a sad, sad world we live in. Not to mention twisted.
I just hope I could pass the values my parents taught me when I was a kid to my own offspring. Then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have to worry about my child by then.